Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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