I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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