her vagine was all disorganized.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
