Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think your dad took our porno
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
