Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They took my balls.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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