I wannas sexs uuuuu
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize