well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
