Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I've blown a few things in my day
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
