nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
