Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
