i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
