I'm drive I can fine osifer
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We need to rekindle our bromance
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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