OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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