Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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