I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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