I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize