When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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