My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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