yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
