some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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