yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
