some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
