spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
