You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize