Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.