hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.