ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…