Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.

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  (248): Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people. http://tfl.nu/2aml
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (1050)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.

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  (763): Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never. http://tfl.nu/0ie8
  Replies (4) Good night (1629) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

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  (313): mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz http://tfl.nu/kyga
  Replies (21) Good night (663) Bad night (1827)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?

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  (972): The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid? http://tfl.nu/xjdi
  Replies (15) Good night (804) Bad night (3424)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line

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  (417): I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/6dkx
  Replies (6) Good night (3597) Bad night (1565)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated

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  (603): I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated http://tfl.nu/wizt
  Replies (8) Good night (2514) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.

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  (772): You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list. http://tfl.nu/hcyy
  Replies (9) Good night (3081) Bad night (1606)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

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  (604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a
  Replies (7) Good night (1552) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?

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  (717): How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling? http://tfl.nu/pzfw
  Replies (7) Good night (1731) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.

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  (760): so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up. http://tfl.nu/rvmx
  Replies (6) Good night (1295) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"

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  (845): I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight" http://tfl.nu/gosi
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.

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  (616): The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time. http://tfl.nu/wo2i
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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  (952): Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis http://tfl.nu/o9uq
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them

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  (414): I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them http://tfl.nu/rxba
  Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.

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  (423): I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something. http://tfl.nu/8ura
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (105)

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