Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  that was the beginning of the end.

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  (256): So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school. (256): that was the beginning of the end. http://tfl.nu/usmt
  Replies (23) Good night (672) Bad night (3520)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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  (757): 6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter. http://tfl.nu/kp9e
  Replies (42) Good night (5359) Bad night (853)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  can you blame him?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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  (226): can you blame him? (519): i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT http://tfl.nu/oyzm
  Replies (46) Good night (1514) Bad night (6621)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete

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  (919): I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete http://tfl.nu/qit9
  Replies (18) Good night (3883) Bad night (524)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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  (504): Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie http://tfl.nu/6e1s
  Replies (13) Good night (4479) Bad night (1108)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.

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  (630): I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job. http://tfl.nu/iztl
  Replies (7) Good night (4035) Bad night (913)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

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  (314): I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though. http://tfl.nu/qm3u
  Replies (18) Good night (5781) Bad night (1820)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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  (914): Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls. http://tfl.nu/u1ub
  Replies (5) Good night (3038) Bad night (574)
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  (530): View more from California

  Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know

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  (530): Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know http://tfl.nu/b7cw
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (885)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.

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  (+44): So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me. http://tfl.nu/ocor
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (745)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes

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  (716): The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes http://tfl.nu/9ioy
  Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (335)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW

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  (956): Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW http://tfl.nu/0qym
  Replies (8) Good night (1340) Bad night (391)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.

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  (816): Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines. http://tfl.nu/u22h
  Replies (1) Good night (1343) Bad night (522)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?

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  (508): I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself? http://tfl.nu/e252
  Replies (3) Good night (989) Bad night (402)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.

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  (480): I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight. http://tfl.nu/cc82
  Replies (4) Good night (436) Bad night (787)

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