no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?