I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
