Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
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She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.