whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
