Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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