idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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