the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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