I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
