alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
