Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she looked like the before picture.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
