Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I smell stomach acid.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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