Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
