My girlfriend figured out who you are.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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