it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
