Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
