ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
