i jhust puked up my retainher.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
