I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
