So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
People in love make me want to vomit
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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