you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
