i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
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I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
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