i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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