Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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