We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
