All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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