it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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