worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
