Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
