hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So drunk its hurt
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize