WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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