he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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