we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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