you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
