I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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