Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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