Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
