just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize