We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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