my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
