is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
