I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
